rAnDoM sTrInG oF tHoUGhTs...

I think it is time to shift gears. It is an interesting, pivotal point in time, it's like you are walking on the beach and you have this plan, you have this path and you are full steam ahead. And the next thing you know you feel your feet walking a little heavier or you are a little more stagnant. I feel like right about now it is when you stop and take a deep break and take a peek at what footprints you left in the sand behind you. Then looking forward now at this empty plot of sand and saying "what's next?", "what am I doing?", "how can I change my pace?", "how can I improve it?", and "what's down the path for me?". Facing things we don't know, aren't really prepared for and challenge our self with and put a brave face on which is exciting, but also gets you a little nervous.

So right now I am stopped in my tracks, I have looked behind me and see a successful path of prints, but when I look ahead and see this open area and not sure what step I should take next is a little daunting. I know I am ready for the next step that is completely off the path on which I have traveled professionally in the past four years. I am ready for a change and it is exciting feeling the preparations of this change occurring. I found a new apartment and moved in with roommates, yes I will miss living alone, but I have accepted the fact I can't have everything I want all at once. My relationship is exciting and new for me, but I need to focus more on me, than him or us. It is important not to change your path or your goals because someone is now part of your life. They don't make up all of your life and I am beginning to realize this. I do love him and I am very happy, but I need my life to progress in a happy, fruitful manner and succeed as an individual before I can honestly succeed as a couple. I want to bring him along for the ride and be the person I look to for advice and guidance, but taking actions and steps alone is part of finding yourself and growing, learning and experiencing what it is to live.

Think about it and call me back :)

It's Amazing and Miraculous To Be Alive

I wouldn't trade it...

Even through the pain
Even through the frustration
Even through the disappointments

Even when I'm broke
Even when I'm misunderstood
Even when people don't like me- just because they love me
Even when character gets called into question
Even when the pressure becomes so profuse that options seem limited
And I feel alone...

I wouldn't trade it...

And even if I never make a million dollars
Or become a household name
Even if I died today and nobody knew what I meant...

Because it's all I have.

And even if the Sun doesn't rise anymore
Or global warming bakes the Earth's surface
If I never get laid again
Or I have to eat oodles and noodles the rest of the month

Even if it's one of those days that everything goes wrong
It's alright
Even if everything isn't okay...
It's okay...

I can be okay with being un-okay

Because I'm alive.

And I wouldn't trade it.

And nobody can take that away.

I'm alive

And I will continue to live forever through what I have accomplished up until now...

No matter how small, it's huge- because I was here with you

And I saw you smile

And we laughed together

And we cried together

And we argued

And we challenged each other

And we grew from it

And we live forever

Even if tomorrow doesn't come

Because today we are alive

Just because tomorrow isn't promised

I have to cherish today...

Everyday

And I will fight for freedom

And I will call into question inequality, unfair treatment, things that I don't understand

I won't please everyone

And unfortunately I will get hurt in the process

But starting today I will not complain

I will simply change the world and keep moving forward.

And I won't offer any apologies for this

And I wouldn't trade it...

Because it's all I have.

Think about it and call me back :)